i feel like running again

Im not entirely sure what set it off, but I feel like running again.

maybe it was the thoughts this morning where i felt like i was losing katie

maybe it was when people mentioned that i never seem to be happy and i think about it and they're right, i never can seem to be happy, and when i am, it allways ends up worse... example: cedar point; good day, lots of fun, was happy, then bus ride home and i ended up crying in front of everyone

maybe it was when my parents brought up the Szado's (longtime family friend) and how they were moving cuz their oldest blew up a car and they want to start over

maybe it was my mom so bluntley asking me about whether or not i had cut in a while that made me feel like i dont belong here

maybe it was the fact that i felt like football was killing me, not helping me

maybe it was the coach promoting stereotypes that made me feel like this place was bullshit

idk... but i just feel like running, somewhere, anywhere, not here, not established, some woods somewhere, i think i could make it, and if not/ oh well, ill have been presumed dead by then anyways.