ow...

my balls hurt.

thanx andrea.

it was fun :]

so...

we lost last night but i still had fun anyways.
tons of ruined moments xD
but i still had fun

went over to berger's house, played H3, decided i like H2 better. stayed up till 4 am, slept for 4 hours, got up, ate breakfast, went to chiropracter, got adjusted, didnt get xrays, and now im here.

idk which house andrea is at this weekend

game lost

we lost 16-8 but we played a gell of a hame.

my stats:


carries: 3
yards: about 32
average yards per carry (game): 10.66666
average yards per carry (total): over 10
tackles:0
sacks:0
touchdowns: almost had one :[
bruises taken: at least 4 as of yet
bruises given: many
tackles missed: 0
blocks missed: 0
passes received: 0/0

compliments recieved (other team): 4
compliments received (friends): many

thanks for going to the game andrea :]

xD andrea read this

Eshomai30 (8:19:58 PM): does andrea like u
cwdwarf (8:20:03 PM): whos this?
Eshomai30 (8:20:10 PM): her sisssster
Eshomai30 (8:20:13 PM): does she
Eshomai30 (8:20:14 PM): y
cwdwarf (8:20:28 PM): her older or younger sister?
Eshomai30 (8:20:37 PM): younga
Eshomai30 (8:20:41 PM): the anoying one
Eshomai30 (8:20:45 PM): :D
cwdwarf (8:20:48 PM): didnt you have a different sn last time i talked to you?
Eshomai30 (8:20:52 PM): yes
Eshomai30 (8:20:53 PM): maybe
Eshomai30 (8:20:55 PM): no
Eshomai30 (8:20:56 PM): kinda
cwdwarf (8:20:59 PM): yeah you did
cwdwarf (8:21:02 PM): anyways
Eshomai30 (8:21:04 PM): ik
cwdwarf (8:21:05 PM): why do u care?
Eshomai30 (8:21:10 PM): idk
Eshomai30 (8:21:18 PM): does she go to your games>
cwdwarf (8:21:23 PM): not any so far
Eshomai30 (8:21:35 PM): ooooo shes cheating on u
Eshomai30 (8:21:37 PM): with james
cwdwarf (8:21:41 PM): right...
Eshomai30 (8:21:43 PM): hehe
Eshomai30 (8:21:45 PM): yup
cwdwarf (8:21:47 PM): lolz
Eshomai30 (8:21:53 PM): no lol
Eshomai30 (8:21:55 PM): no z
cwdwarf (8:21:55 PM): in order for that to be true
cwdwarf (8:22:03 PM): james would have to be straight
Eshomai30 (8:22:11 PM): ohhhhh well, he is
Eshomai30 (8:22:17 PM): he likes her
cwdwarf (8:22:20 PM): so tell me
Eshomai30 (8:22:20 PM): ooo
Eshomai30 (8:22:23 PM): arent u jealous
cwdwarf (8:22:29 PM): why does someone so small stir uip so much trouble?
Eshomai30 (8:22:40 PM): b/c i can
cwdwarf (8:22:41 PM): i trust andrea with my life
Eshomai30 (8:22:45 PM): do u...
Eshomai30 (8:22:50 PM): are u sure
Eshomai30 (8:22:53 PM): ....
cwdwarf (8:22:55 PM): i wouldnt ever accuse her of cheating unless i saw her
Eshomai30 (8:23:08 PM): well, wht if i sent u a video of her..
Eshomai30 (8:23:09 PM): and james
cwdwarf (8:23:12 PM): lolz
cwdwarf (8:23:14 PM): try
Eshomai30 (8:23:17 PM): no im cerial
Eshomai30 (8:23:26 PM): cereal*
cwdwarf (8:23:36 PM): james is ur fucking next door neighbor
Eshomai30 (8:23:48 PM): yup, thats makes cheating on u easier
Eshomai30 (8:23:53 PM): haw haw haw
cwdwarf (8:23:54 PM): if she liked him that woulda been over a looong time ago
Eshomai30 (8:24:03 PM): youd think so...
cwdwarf (8:24:07 PM): i know so
Eshomai30 (8:24:08 PM): wouldnt u
Eshomai30 (8:24:16 PM): how old are u
Eshomai30 (8:24:19 PM): are u 70
cwdwarf (8:24:22 PM): ...
cwdwarf (8:24:24 PM): no...
Eshomai30 (8:24:30 PM): >_<
Eshomai30 (8:24:31 PM): y
Eshomai30 (8:24:41 PM): do u mulest chldren
cwdwarf (8:24:46 PM): no
Eshomai30 (8:24:53 PM): yes u do
Eshomai30 (8:24:56 PM): andy sed u did
cwdwarf (8:25:12 PM): now if ur done having fantasies about ur sister and 70 year old men, would you please get off of the computer and get ur sister?
Eshomai30 (8:25:21 PM): nope i cant
Eshomai30 (8:25:24 PM): shes dead
Eshomai30 (8:25:27 PM): i killedher
Eshomai30 (8:25:36 PM): and dude shes at her moms
Eshomai30 (8:25:44 PM): our*
cwdwarf (8:25:55 PM): if you did then id make damn sure that for atleast a month before you died youd wish you were dead
Eshomai30 (8:26:04 PM): hehe im sure
Eshomai30 (8:26:08 PM): sooooooo
cwdwarf (8:26:08 PM): turst me
Eshomai30 (8:26:11 PM): who was ur last gf
cwdwarf (8:26:14 PM): i know things you couldnt imagine
Eshomai30 (8:26:20 PM): i bet
Eshomai30 (8:26:28 PM): like how u mulest kids
cwdwarf (8:26:37 PM): cuz im totally 70 years old bitch
cwdwarf (8:26:59 PM): that would mean the year would have to be 2063
cwdwarf (8:27:03 PM): dumbass
Eshomai30 (8:27:09 PM): yup
Eshomai30 (8:27:16 PM): am i pissin u off?
cwdwarf (8:27:21 PM): noy rly
Eshomai30 (8:27:26 PM): yes
Eshomai30 (8:27:30 PM): thats the job
cwdwarf (8:27:31 PM): if i was pissed off ud be dead
Eshomai30 (8:27:38 PM): suuuure
cwdwarf (8:27:39 PM): cuz i know where u r at this exact moment
Eshomai30 (8:27:43 PM): did u ever kill a child?
cwdwarf (8:27:48 PM): plenty :]
Eshomai30 (8:27:52 PM): immmm suuure
Eshomai30 (8:28:16 PM): y dont u have andrea in your profiel
Eshomai30 (8:28:19 PM): pro*
cwdwarf (8:28:25 PM): which prfile?
Eshomai30 (8:28:33 PM): the one for aim
Eshomai30 (8:28:34 PM): der
cwdwarf (8:28:43 PM): shes in my other one
Eshomai30 (8:28:45 PM): u shood say "andrea i love u" or somethin
Eshomai30 (8:28:51 PM): on ur myspace
Eshomai30 (8:28:59 PM): do u have friends
cwdwarf (8:29:10 PM): i have more friends then ull ever have, midget
Eshomai30 (8:29:14 PM): hehe
Eshomai30 (8:29:16 PM): i bet
Eshomai30 (8:29:30 PM): how much do u wiegh?
cwdwarf (8:29:33 PM): 130
Eshomai30 (8:29:39 PM): u mean 1200
cwdwarf (8:29:41 PM): no
cwdwarf (8:29:42 PM): 130
Eshomai30 (8:29:43 PM): yes
Eshomai30 (8:29:46 PM): 1200
Eshomai30 (8:29:50 PM): is u a fatty?
cwdwarf (8:29:59 PM): so is andrea with james right now?
Eshomai30 (8:30:11 PM): no
Eshomai30 (8:30:15 PM): shes at momas
cwdwarf (8:30:30 PM): whatev
Eshomai30 (8:30:45 PM): tvmbgghhbbhjjbjghmjbhgfjgjjj76hhkhkjkkjljjkljgukllljjjjjjj
cwdwarf (8:30:46 PM): so tell me, do you tryn to be aqnnoying or were youi born with it?
Eshomai30 (8:30:50 PM): iiig
Eshomai30 (8:30:55 PM): yessir
Eshomai30 (8:31:13 PM): i was born wit it
Eshomai30 (8:31:15 PM): jealous?
cwdwarf (8:31:18 PM): i figured
cwdwarf (8:31:20 PM): nope
Eshomai30 (8:31:23 PM): yes u are
Eshomai30 (8:31:26 PM): ur soo jealous
cwdwarf (8:31:47 PM): yes, cuz i totally want to be a dumb bitch who does nothing but stir up trouble all day
Eshomai30 (8:31:54 PM): yup
Eshomai30 (8:32:04 PM): ur jealous of my mad trouble-stirring skills
cwdwarf (8:32:18 PM): wow
Eshomai30 (8:32:26 PM): :D
cwdwarf (8:32:27 PM): u definantly sounded like a 3rd grader there
Eshomai30 (8:32:32 PM): yessssir
Eshomai30 (8:32:37 PM): but correction, its a sevie
cwdwarf (8:32:56 PM): no, ur a 3rd grader
cwdwarf (8:32:59 PM): ive promoted you
Eshomai30 (8:33:04 PM): hehe
Eshomai30 (8:33:22 PM): i dont liek u
Eshomai30 (8:33:25 PM): ur toooo tall
cwdwarf (8:33:42 PM): yeah, im sorry for being averge height, midget
Eshomai30 (8:33:57 PM): i like being small
Eshomai30 (8:34:05 PM): midget is a complement
cwdwarf (8:34:10 PM): u can suk dicks easier that way
cwdwarf (8:34:24 PM): you dont even have to bend over
Eshomai30 (8:34:27 PM): oh, definately, cuz you know ALL about that
cwdwarf (8:34:57 PM): no, im saying you would
Eshomai30 (8:35:06 PM): suuuuuuure
Eshomai30 (8:35:23 PM): i bet u have sucked it
Eshomai30 (8:35:26 PM): on andrea
cwdwarf (8:35:33 PM): wanna replace ur bets?
Eshomai30 (8:35:42 PM): hm...
cwdwarf (8:35:46 PM): see, unlike you, andrea has standards and self repsect
Eshomai30 (8:36:03 PM): yea... surrre that goth freak is a total bitch
Eshomai30 (8:36:06 PM): and u knwo it too
Eshomai30 (8:36:14 PM): im gunna tell her u cheated one hr
cwdwarf (8:36:16 PM): she aint a freak or a bitch
cwdwarf (8:36:22 PM): go ahead and tell her that
cwdwarf (8:36:27 PM): it's called cut/paste
Eshomai30 (8:36:30 PM): even if shes dont belive me
Eshomai30 (8:36:39 PM): ill tell her aLLLLLL DAY
cwdwarf (8:36:49 PM): and she'll end up stabing you
Eshomai30 (8:37:01 PM): im sure dude
Eshomai30 (8:37:08 PM): how many gfs have u had
Eshomai30 (8:37:11 PM): EVER
cwdwarf (8:37:13 PM): have i had?
cwdwarf (8:37:16 PM): uhm
Eshomai30 (8:37:17 PM): yes
cwdwarf (8:37:22 PM): counting andrea once or twice
Eshomai30 (8:37:30 PM): omg only one!>!>!>!hahahh
Eshomai30 (8:37:31 PM): thats sad
cwdwarf (8:37:34 PM): lolz
cwdwarf (8:37:37 PM): thats not what i meant
cwdwarf (8:37:53 PM): what i ment was, ive been out with andrea twice, do i count that as one gf or 2?
Eshomai30 (8:38:05 PM): one
Eshomai30 (8:38:09 PM): shes only one person
cwdwarf (8:38:12 PM): then ive had...
Eshomai30 (8:38:14 PM): so is that all? 1?
cwdwarf (8:38:29 PM): 6
cwdwarf (8:38:32 PM): 6 total
Eshomai30 (8:38:36 PM): ive had about like 6 or 7 thoughout elementary and now
cwdwarf (8:38:49 PM): uve had 6 or 7 gf's? wow, my gf's sister is a lezbo
Eshomai30 (8:38:59 PM): yup
Eshomai30 (8:39:03 PM): definately
Eshomai30 (8:39:11 PM): im a lesbein
Eshomai30 (8:39:16 PM): u caught me
cwdwarf (8:39:16 PM): i thought so
Eshomai30 (8:39:23 PM): i bet u are too
cwdwarf (8:39:32 PM): guys cant be lesbiens dumbass
Eshomai30 (8:39:38 PM): i bet ur MJ hiding out trying to get into andreas life andbusiness
Eshomai30 (8:40:03 PM): and no duh shitface, its called a joke
cwdwarf (8:40:14 PM): ur definantly nomt funny
Eshomai30 (8:40:36 PM): ya, and YOU should learn how to spell
cwdwarf (8:40:54 PM): or im just typing on a dif keyeboard than usual...
Eshomai30 (8:41:08 PM): Y DO U LIKE ANDREA
Eshomai30 (8:41:12 PM): it cant be for looks....
cwdwarf (8:41:34 PM): i like her for my own reasons
Eshomai30 (8:41:53 PM): y... which reasons? i bet they r perverted
cwdwarf (8:42:11 PM): i bet i dont want you to know my reasons
Eshomai30 (8:42:24 PM): idc
Eshomai30 (8:42:32 PM): i prolly already kno
Eshomai30 (8:42:38 PM): xD
Eshomai30 (8:42:41 PM): ur nasty
cwdwarf (8:42:45 PM): ...?
Eshomai30 (8:42:58 PM): ha! u dont even know
Eshomai30 (8:43:07 PM): am i the only one ur talking to
cwdwarf (8:43:31 PM): no
cwdwarf (8:43:39 PM): im also talking with my ex and a friend
Eshomai30 (8:43:47 PM): hoos ur ex
Eshomai30 (8:43:51 PM): some guy?.
cwdwarf (8:43:53 PM): no
cwdwarf (8:43:57 PM): katie costello
Eshomai30 (8:44:06 PM): omg!!! u dated that thing?>
Eshomai30 (8:44:11 PM): how sad
cwdwarf (8:44:43 PM): u dont even know her...
cwdwarf (8:44:54 PM): dumbass
Eshomai30 (8:44:58 PM): wanna bet?
Eshomai30 (8:45:56 PM): whhhhaaatever
cwdwarf (8:46:05 PM): describe her to me then
Eshomai30 (8:46:35 PM): shes a fat whore that has noe friends
Eshomai30 (8:46:39 PM): there
Eshomai30 (8:46:42 PM): clearifyed
cwdwarf (8:47:12 PM): xD
cwdwarf (8:47:17 PM): what color is her hair?
Eshomai30 (8:47:27 PM): A COLOR
Eshomai30 (8:47:31 PM): blue
Eshomai30 (8:47:31 PM): ha
cwdwarf (8:47:59 PM): ...
cwdwarf (8:48:04 PM): u fail at life
Eshomai30 (8:48:06 PM): im right huh?
cwdwarf (8:48:08 PM): just go kill yourself
Eshomai30 (8:48:12 PM): alright
Eshomai30 (8:48:17 PM): xD
Eshomai30 (8:50:32 PM): xD
Eshomai30 (8:50:34 PM): xD
Eshomai30 (8:50:36 PM): xD

im...ok

yesterday: got homecoming stuff

today: got sick during testing, sill went to practice and played although i might not start thursday.

just spent like 20 mins learning the crank dat soulja boy dance xD its actually really easy

i love andrea, shes constantly on my mind, i could even smell her a minute ago.

i still have LA homework to do, but i wont be able to turn in the quotes sheet cuz im a dumb ass and left the book at school.

thats all for now

Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for another list

here they are

1: I cut today, see the following for reasons as to why

2: went to andrea's house yesterday and the day before that, allways fun until the end, when the sudden realization that i have to go home settles in

3: at the end of my visit to andrea's house, i got really really depressed really fast. like *BOOM* im depressed now. "see you monday, I hope" thank you andrea, if it werent for those words, i really dont think i would be going into school tomorow.

4: my parents keep bitching at me to do chores which ive allready done, or do hw which ive already done.

5: forced, expected, and real made me think

6: my dad keeps harping on me to do scout shit

7: my dad keeps yelling at me cuz apparently im not a good enuf football player

8: my brother keeps belittling me (i think thats the word...)

9: i feel like running away.

10: I still am getting constant headaches.

11: my back still hurts like a mother fucker

12: well i have to go do more fucking chores, more on this later.

I LOVE ANDREA

ok so tam was just talking to me about how much she loves chris and it got me thinking...

I LOVE ANDREA WITH EVERYTHING

i would die for her, i would kill myself or anyone else for her, i would run away for her, i would do anything for her.

When i think of her Im happy.

I feel guilty whenever i talk with any other girl.

I live for those 3-4 mins in between classes where i see her.

SHE IS THE ONLY THING STOPPING ME FROM CUTTING

i know she cares, and she's someone whos allways there and ready to talk to.

I know ive been buggin her about making out, but i love her hugs better.

without her, i wouldnt be the same.


i will do anything to make her happy.

i love you andrea.

football game

ok so i went to the football game last night, churchil won like 49-0 but i didnt rly watch the game.

i got there right at the opening kickoff, wohoo.

andrea got there at about the end of the first quarter and i hung out with her for the rest of the time, which was fun and memorable.

kelly kept trying to shove her foot up my ass which hurt, i broke up a fight, made fun of Salem's freshmen cuz they sucked, andrea did something that surprised me but i liked it, talked with tom, got in a shit load of headlocks, watched the halftime show, hugged/cuddled with andrea alot.

drove andrea home, went home, watched football.

wewnt to the chiroractor today, they're gonna take xrays next week.

my parents are goin to the michigan game today, anyone wanna hang out?
i was gonna have my bro drive me and andrea to go see balls of fury, but she might be having a party today, but if she does im goin.

but my plans usually dont work so if anyone wants to hang out just call the home phone.

off day, off week, off life

today i didnt do anything right.

my sub in WH got pissed at me

I failed in actually talking to andrea, so far all we've had are these fleeting conversations that last like 2 mins

i completely fucked up the biology lab today, and got my partner pissed at me

i couldn't write worth shit in math today,

I fucked up my sculpture a little bit

we won the game but i lost the battle, here are my stats:
playing time: 2 quarters
carries: 0
yards: 0
touchdowns: 0
fumbles: 0
defensive playing time: 0
tackles: 0
sacks: 0
hits: 0
pancake blocks: 0


coach was a bitch and wouldn't give me the ball or let me play defense.

so now im home.
and i'm talking with andrea, and she says she couldnt go to the game cuz she didnt have a ride. so i tell her that we can give her a ride, and then she goes all "well i want to avoid tha situation.." thanks, andrea, i can tell ur trying really hard.

and now katies riding my back for asking stupid questions.

and elise is all confused and i havent seen her in a while

and sahana is getting pretty much worse by the day

and no one really cares anymore
no one has ever really cared
thanks


for nothing

i snuck out last night :D

yeah, so i snuck out last night and went over to andreas house where she was having a sleepover with katie and lizzi. It was fun, obviously, but i think certain things coulda been better.

especially for the fucking effort of getting there...

si now im really congested and i cant breathe through my right nostril and im going on 5 hours of sleep and right now im rambling.

so today i go to church, come back, do chores, do homework, go to the church picnic for dinner, go to the boy scout court of honor, come home, go to bed.

F-U-N
u b a
c e z
k r i
i . s
n
g

ok so im grounded

for the weekend

because i punched a hole in the wall because my mom hasnt given me my allowence for three weeks and wont give me it until i meet her demands, which of course is complete bullshit because i want to kill her and get her the fuck out of my life.

but other than that today was ok

actually was able to talk to/hug/hold hands with andrea today, so that was good.

practice was easy.

but i still feel like killing myself, just because my life would be so much easier if i was dead.

I don't even know where to start

ok so ill just list them off as they come to me

1st day of school ws possibly the worst day of my life, i went to bed at 9:30 and woke up crying twice in the middle of the night, after taking dramamine to fall asleep.

I have pretty much no friends in any of my classes, and those i do have in my classes, they're on the other side of the the fucking room.

we won today, 28-8. I got 4 penalties (2 offsides, 2 holding), only two were accepted. I ran the ball twice, once for 4 yards, once for 14. Had one pass and one completion for 13 yards ish.

Andrea didn't show up at another one of my games.

I'm drowning in Rise Against.

I had a test in Acc English today, which i probably bombed.

I was going to kill myself last night. I don't know what stopped me.

Saturday I'm going to the Michigan game.

I think I've retreated alot since the end of the last school year, I'm not as confident, outspoken, or friendly. I've decided I've pretty much lost all of my ability to talk to girls.

My locker wouldn't open yesterday so I had to carry everything around with me. I finally got it open today, thank god.

I feel extremely lonely right now.

Last night after the second time i woke up I felt seriously like puking.

My parents are still as bitchy as ever.

My mom just had foot surgery and since she's been off of the meds, she's been as mean and demanding as possible.

I want out, now.