One step foreward, two steps back

I snuck out and drove over to andreas house last night,
she cried in happiness,
but really im just sorry it got to the point where shes THAT happy that I actually came over, I'm happy that I did, but it's a very sad happy.

My dad's surgery is (as far as we know) thursday

My grandma fell on saturday and broke her hip, my dad left that day and she had her surgery yesterday; it went well but she needs to be in rehab for about 3 weeks

My grandpa (same side of the family) had a drug overdose/complication yesterday, he took some of my grandma's medication to fall asleep, which fucked him up, he's ok now though, as far as we know.

My sister's spending the summer in Houghten this year, she's not even going to come home.

Joe's doing just peachy at central, as far as i know.

Our first track meet is in a week.

Im so tired.

I love you.










Im sorry.

Everyday

Everyday seems a little bit worse to me,
They hold me down,
Every one,
Two days ago I was tired, but happy,
Yesterday I was fine, then I found out my dad had spent the day in the hospital, sick,
Today was ok until I went to track, where I was told to shut up and stop whinning because I suggested that we not work out the the team and instead set up the pits, then everyone who has ever had anything against me all got together and talked like I wasnt there,
The, on the rie home, I was informed that my mother is now unemployed and we have no insurance.

Great life



Oh, and it seems like everyday the depression I was trying to fight out of bights me a little more; today I played with the idea of breaking up with andrea simply because then I could choose to kill myself whenever.


I'm making a notebook of my memories from my past, maybe someday someone will want to read it.