guys, gals, please dont cry.

It is my regretfulm duty to inform you that today is the day that I die. I do not wish to make a big scene out of it or anything, I just want you all to know this is not your fault. I want you all to know that I love you and I don't want any of you to do what I will be doing. I want you to forget I ever existed and go on with your lives. I'm not quite sure when I'll go do it, I just know it will be today.

My dad has told me that if I don't 'Shape up' as in become a prude/goody good like he wants me to. He'll take me out of football and won't let me do pretty much anything. I can't get happy, even the football games aren't good enough to make me happy.

So since Im gonna die today, I might as well tell all or most. I have been mentally abused since i can remember, I've also been physically abused by my brother, who has anger issues. Anytime anyone asks me if something is wrong, I allways end up saying nothing even though it is everything. Anytime I tell someone nothing is wrong and i tell them "Im just tired," it usually means that I'm thinking about killing myself and I don't want to worry you with it. I have tried to kill myself, 3 times now. 2 by pills and one by drowning. somedays i want to light the house on fire and go to sleep inside. I hate my family, but you all knew that, I couldn't love them if I tried. I miss love, happiness, and joy. I hope I'll find them where I'm going.