suicideal tendanciess get us nowhere, hun

bergers paty= amazing fun and fun and fun

but not even b4 we pulled out of the driveway id allready gotten in a fight with my dad.

today i got up at 11 and couldnt stop thinking about andrea and then i read her blog post and i got all worried and shit and i seriously could not stop crying, which i guess is a good thing because i havent cried like that in a while.

i want to cut, i want to die.

i made dinner, got a haircut, it doesnt look too bad, i cleaned up dinner, i got verbally raped by my dad fro having a B in first hour and a C+ in 5th hour, then i went and saw 'lars and the real girl' which is a really good movie and i look foreward to watching it while stoned.

this is my life.

up=bergers
down=before we even pulled out of the driveway
even lower= reading about andrea and not being able to talk to her our hang out with her the rest of break
even lower still= andrea might be switching schools
still lower= getting yelled at for not "reaching my full potential"



I've been noticing a trend lately.
and it hurts, alot.

people yell at me and while they're yelling, they compliment me and then come crashing down with a "well thats too bad..." or a "i think it's wasted..." or etc.

my dad for the first time in my life complimented me to my face and not through someone else, then he proceeded to yell at me because imm not learning anything in haverkate's class.