i hate being sick
taco bell gave me food poisoning from last night
fucking niggers dont know how to make a healthy taco, hire some mexicans!
so ive been sick since about 1 am and now tam and kayleigh want me to stil go over, but quite frankly, i can barely type this let alone go over to a party.
i miss andrea soo much
im glad ill see her day after tomorow
i still need to do my hw, but whatev
Monday, December 31, 2007
Saturday, December 29, 2007
1 oclock, 2 oclock, 3 oclock rock!
so yesterday pretty much made up for the preious week of not seeing anyone.
went to toms at 5:50-8:00
then went to andreas and i left at 12:40, got back at 3:45
and today i woke up at 1:15.
thats all i have to say about that.
went to toms at 5:50-8:00
then went to andreas and i left at 12:40, got back at 3:45
and today i woke up at 1:15.
thats all i have to say about that.
Friday, December 28, 2007
This break has sucked dick.
yesterday... idk what happened...
i was planning on seeing juno with a buncha friends and then elise couldnt go so i didnt have a ride and nothing worked out so i spent the night talking to gabby asking if she could drive by and drop off some pot.
GOD i was bored.
i know this sounds gay, but i've already beaten 2 of the 4 games i got, another one is 1/3 done, and the last is 2/3 done.
i miss andrea soooo much :[
im starting to get scared, i know i shouldnt be, i know they're just friends, i know that all they can do is help her, for now, but i still get scared, especially since i havent met them.
damn it andrea, do i know if you're needy? no, i dont, simply because of the fucking way i was born i dont know whats needy and whats not, i was just taught to do whatever the fuck i was told.
i lost my house key and about a bajillion other things.
i got like really really depressed yesterday for like no reason. now i just feel like not moving, or running away, one or the other.
cutting doesnt help anymore, fucking therapist.
so know i can still get really depressed and nothing can help now, i just have to wait it out and hope i dont hurt myself too much.
i can't hold memory, maybe it's the games, maybe it's the depression?
andrea's life seems to be going swimmingly, i know thisll sound rude or whatever, but it's kind of annoying how even when she's grounded and sick there's allways someone for her to talk to, atleast, there's one when she needs it.
i feel like i'm losing all of my really close friends and i dont know why, i dont really have anyone who at any point in time i can go over to their house and chill or just talk to. I feel like everyone i once had is slipping away, and that sounds emo.
I hate breaks, i know i hate school too, but atleast at schoool i can see people and be around people.
i don't think i've lost my poetry, i think it's still there, ive just been puting it off because usually when i write i end up cutting or going out and getting high or crying for a really long time, and i dont know why this is.
andrea said she's trying not to lie as much, because she realised that she's lying too much. I know i've been lying too much, but now it's just a habit, just keep my head down and keep lying.
why won't anyone kill me if i told them to? don't they see it would make me happy? even in death it cant be as bad as this place.
i hasvent hung out with anyone since berger's party and that needs to change
anyone want to die with me? nat and i are starting a suicide club.
i feel so... so empty, i feel like i have nothing, maybe it's because i havent been near people that actually love me and care about me in a week.
I need someone, anyone, to hang out with.
i feel like nothing, just, nothing.
i want to lose control, get drunk or whatever, but i dont want to be in control anymore, the controlling doesnt help me, it only hurts.
when your words have lost their way,
And when everyone seems so gay,
Just remember, that fateful day,
Of when your life slipped away,
Just remember the moment of tears,
Of loneliness and jeers,
Rise above the silent cheers,
And give in to all your fears,
Let the the darkness consume you,
And let death betray you,
Let the pain of life tear you,
Let the mourning star prepare you,
For the cold, sickening place,
That you want to leave without a trace,
Let Death's trump card ace,
Poison you with bittersweet taste.
Don't fear me, love,
Fear what I've become,
Fear when all is said and done,
I won't be here for you,
Don't fear me, love,
For my love cannot show,
It lies buried, never to grow,
It won't be there for you,
Don't fear me, love,
Loneliness isn't a game,
It plants seeds of pain and shame,
It Ruins me for you,
Don't fear me, love,
The pain is too great,
For when we can't escape our fate,
It kills me before you,
Don't fear me, love,
Fear the reaper,
Fear the soul keeper,
It will come for you,
Don't fear me, love,
Fear what will be,
Fear the vast, empty sea,
That, in death, awaits you,
Don't fear me love,
But hold on tight,
We'll battle through this gruesome fight,
And I'll be there for you.
The sky of gold,
The sea of green,
The dividing line,
In between,
The sun of red,
The flash of green,
The spots on the black screen,
The loss of land,
The gain of sea,
The waves that barrel over,
The rolling ship,
The roll and dip,
The order to take cover,
The belch of clouds,
The soaking rain,
The loss of engine power,
The rush of fear,
The loss of sense,
The not so silent shower,
The spinning water,
The giant bowl,
The splitting of our wood,
The jolt awake,
The sense at stake,
The thought that it could,
The sweaty bed,
The lights turned off,
The sailor went back to sleep.
i was planning on seeing juno with a buncha friends and then elise couldnt go so i didnt have a ride and nothing worked out so i spent the night talking to gabby asking if she could drive by and drop off some pot.
GOD i was bored.
i know this sounds gay, but i've already beaten 2 of the 4 games i got, another one is 1/3 done, and the last is 2/3 done.
i miss andrea soooo much :[
im starting to get scared, i know i shouldnt be, i know they're just friends, i know that all they can do is help her, for now, but i still get scared, especially since i havent met them.
damn it andrea, do i know if you're needy? no, i dont, simply because of the fucking way i was born i dont know whats needy and whats not, i was just taught to do whatever the fuck i was told.
i lost my house key and about a bajillion other things.
i got like really really depressed yesterday for like no reason. now i just feel like not moving, or running away, one or the other.
cutting doesnt help anymore, fucking therapist.
so know i can still get really depressed and nothing can help now, i just have to wait it out and hope i dont hurt myself too much.
i can't hold memory, maybe it's the games, maybe it's the depression?
andrea's life seems to be going swimmingly, i know thisll sound rude or whatever, but it's kind of annoying how even when she's grounded and sick there's allways someone for her to talk to, atleast, there's one when she needs it.
i feel like i'm losing all of my really close friends and i dont know why, i dont really have anyone who at any point in time i can go over to their house and chill or just talk to. I feel like everyone i once had is slipping away, and that sounds emo.
I hate breaks, i know i hate school too, but atleast at schoool i can see people and be around people.
i don't think i've lost my poetry, i think it's still there, ive just been puting it off because usually when i write i end up cutting or going out and getting high or crying for a really long time, and i dont know why this is.
andrea said she's trying not to lie as much, because she realised that she's lying too much. I know i've been lying too much, but now it's just a habit, just keep my head down and keep lying.
why won't anyone kill me if i told them to? don't they see it would make me happy? even in death it cant be as bad as this place.
i hasvent hung out with anyone since berger's party and that needs to change
anyone want to die with me? nat and i are starting a suicide club.
i feel so... so empty, i feel like i have nothing, maybe it's because i havent been near people that actually love me and care about me in a week.
I need someone, anyone, to hang out with.
i feel like nothing, just, nothing.
i want to lose control, get drunk or whatever, but i dont want to be in control anymore, the controlling doesnt help me, it only hurts.
when your words have lost their way,
And when everyone seems so gay,
Just remember, that fateful day,
Of when your life slipped away,
Just remember the moment of tears,
Of loneliness and jeers,
Rise above the silent cheers,
And give in to all your fears,
Let the the darkness consume you,
And let death betray you,
Let the pain of life tear you,
Let the mourning star prepare you,
For the cold, sickening place,
That you want to leave without a trace,
Let Death's trump card ace,
Poison you with bittersweet taste.
Don't fear me, love,
Fear what I've become,
Fear when all is said and done,
I won't be here for you,
Don't fear me, love,
For my love cannot show,
It lies buried, never to grow,
It won't be there for you,
Don't fear me, love,
Loneliness isn't a game,
It plants seeds of pain and shame,
It Ruins me for you,
Don't fear me, love,
The pain is too great,
For when we can't escape our fate,
It kills me before you,
Don't fear me, love,
Fear the reaper,
Fear the soul keeper,
It will come for you,
Don't fear me, love,
Fear what will be,
Fear the vast, empty sea,
That, in death, awaits you,
Don't fear me love,
But hold on tight,
We'll battle through this gruesome fight,
And I'll be there for you.
The sky of gold,
The sea of green,
The dividing line,
In between,
The sun of red,
The flash of green,
The spots on the black screen,
The loss of land,
The gain of sea,
The waves that barrel over,
The rolling ship,
The roll and dip,
The order to take cover,
The belch of clouds,
The soaking rain,
The loss of engine power,
The rush of fear,
The loss of sense,
The not so silent shower,
The spinning water,
The giant bowl,
The splitting of our wood,
The jolt awake,
The sense at stake,
The thought that it could,
The sweaty bed,
The lights turned off,
The sailor went back to sleep.
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
tell me the reality is better than the dream
wellllll...
it's hard to start because i dont know.
i'm still not sleeping well, but i am sleeping better now.
i have about 100$ from xmas gifts, probably gonna blow 30$ on an insence burner and some incense, 40$ im saving fer something special, 20$ for movie stuff over the rest of break, like goin over to elises tomorow and seeing juno (you should come!), and that leaves me with atleast 10$ for anything else... hopefully gabby can hook me up with something for that cheep.
i got a camera, i checked the price online, less than 90$, go figure.
santa got me m&m's, don't i feel special?
xmas depresses me, it just opens my eyes even more to seeing how unaware my family is of my likes, dislikes, and needs.
my mom, being the selfish person she is, stole my dad's gift from her parents, and got everything on her list.
i got 4 used, on sale video games from my siblings, tak 2, silent scope complete, halo 2, and lotr:tta, all of which besides halo are grade b- or lower and even older than they look.
my gramma on my moms side is becoming even more of a worry-wart, the grandpa is even more "dont touch anything" (and i get to spend a 3 day weekend with them next month, woo!)
my gramma on my dads side is even smaller, skinnier, and weaker, while my grandpa is back in a walker.
ive spent all break in long sleeves, hiding the merry xmas carved in my arm.
today alls i did was laze around, do chores and get bitched at, tmorowo im planning on goin to the rec with berger and then over to elises to go see juno, hopefully tomorow my break will start.
hopefully
i've been thinking less, which is good, i think the nyquill killed a few brain cells, which is a good thing.
i love andrea,
i miss her,
and from reading her blog... she misses me,
fucking dumbass parents need to betaught lessons.
:[
ALL I'VE GOT IS INSANE!
it's hard to start because i dont know.
i'm still not sleeping well, but i am sleeping better now.
i have about 100$ from xmas gifts, probably gonna blow 30$ on an insence burner and some incense, 40$ im saving fer something special, 20$ for movie stuff over the rest of break, like goin over to elises tomorow and seeing juno (you should come!), and that leaves me with atleast 10$ for anything else... hopefully gabby can hook me up with something for that cheep.
i got a camera, i checked the price online, less than 90$, go figure.
santa got me m&m's, don't i feel special?
xmas depresses me, it just opens my eyes even more to seeing how unaware my family is of my likes, dislikes, and needs.
my mom, being the selfish person she is, stole my dad's gift from her parents, and got everything on her list.
i got 4 used, on sale video games from my siblings, tak 2, silent scope complete, halo 2, and lotr:tta, all of which besides halo are grade b- or lower and even older than they look.
my gramma on my moms side is becoming even more of a worry-wart, the grandpa is even more "dont touch anything" (and i get to spend a 3 day weekend with them next month, woo!)
my gramma on my dads side is even smaller, skinnier, and weaker, while my grandpa is back in a walker.
ive spent all break in long sleeves, hiding the merry xmas carved in my arm.
today alls i did was laze around, do chores and get bitched at, tmorowo im planning on goin to the rec with berger and then over to elises to go see juno, hopefully tomorow my break will start.
hopefully
i've been thinking less, which is good, i think the nyquill killed a few brain cells, which is a good thing.
i love andrea,
i miss her,
and from reading her blog... she misses me,
fucking dumbass parents need to betaught lessons.
:[
ALL I'VE GOT IS INSANE!
Sunday, December 23, 2007
no matter how much we cry, our lives still slip by
seriously, what the fuck.
i can sleep for 12 hours and get up feeling more tired than i was when i went to bed.
ive had a headache for three days now because i've been thinking too much.
2 nights ago i actually got a nosebleed because i couldn't stop bleeding.
my dreams are so fucked up, i think they're real soo much that when i wake up im still not sure if im sleeping.
i need to go get stoned.
i need andrea, and she needs me.
i have "merry xmas" carved in to my arm.
even cutting won't get me to stop thinking
I NEED TO FUCKING STOP THINKINKING
goddamnit
i wish i wasn't so thinky
i want to stop thinking
i need to stop thinking
it's killing me
i'm killing me
oh wait, im already dead.
i can sleep for 12 hours and get up feeling more tired than i was when i went to bed.
ive had a headache for three days now because i've been thinking too much.
2 nights ago i actually got a nosebleed because i couldn't stop bleeding.
my dreams are so fucked up, i think they're real soo much that when i wake up im still not sure if im sleeping.
i need to go get stoned.
i need andrea, and she needs me.
i have "merry xmas" carved in to my arm.
even cutting won't get me to stop thinking
I NEED TO FUCKING STOP THINKINKING
goddamnit
i wish i wasn't so thinky
i want to stop thinking
i need to stop thinking
it's killing me
i'm killing me
oh wait, im already dead.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
suicideal tendanciess get us nowhere, hun
bergers paty= amazing fun and fun and fun
but not even b4 we pulled out of the driveway id allready gotten in a fight with my dad.
today i got up at 11 and couldnt stop thinking about andrea and then i read her blog post and i got all worried and shit and i seriously could not stop crying, which i guess is a good thing because i havent cried like that in a while.
i want to cut, i want to die.
i made dinner, got a haircut, it doesnt look too bad, i cleaned up dinner, i got verbally raped by my dad fro having a B in first hour and a C+ in 5th hour, then i went and saw 'lars and the real girl' which is a really good movie and i look foreward to watching it while stoned.
this is my life.
up=bergers
down=before we even pulled out of the driveway
even lower= reading about andrea and not being able to talk to her our hang out with her the rest of break
even lower still= andrea might be switching schools
still lower= getting yelled at for not "reaching my full potential"
I've been noticing a trend lately.
and it hurts, alot.
people yell at me and while they're yelling, they compliment me and then come crashing down with a "well thats too bad..." or a "i think it's wasted..." or etc.
my dad for the first time in my life complimented me to my face and not through someone else, then he proceeded to yell at me because imm not learning anything in haverkate's class.
but not even b4 we pulled out of the driveway id allready gotten in a fight with my dad.
today i got up at 11 and couldnt stop thinking about andrea and then i read her blog post and i got all worried and shit and i seriously could not stop crying, which i guess is a good thing because i havent cried like that in a while.
i want to cut, i want to die.
i made dinner, got a haircut, it doesnt look too bad, i cleaned up dinner, i got verbally raped by my dad fro having a B in first hour and a C+ in 5th hour, then i went and saw 'lars and the real girl' which is a really good movie and i look foreward to watching it while stoned.
this is my life.
up=bergers
down=before we even pulled out of the driveway
even lower= reading about andrea and not being able to talk to her our hang out with her the rest of break
even lower still= andrea might be switching schools
still lower= getting yelled at for not "reaching my full potential"
I've been noticing a trend lately.
and it hurts, alot.
people yell at me and while they're yelling, they compliment me and then come crashing down with a "well thats too bad..." or a "i think it's wasted..." or etc.
my dad for the first time in my life complimented me to my face and not through someone else, then he proceeded to yell at me because imm not learning anything in haverkate's class.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
woot 100th post!
ok
so
it's 7:30 and ive been up for....13.5 hours
i've been working..... 8 of those hours
I've been at church..... 9 of those hours
i could've went over to andrea's house but my mom wouldnt let me
im hoping we dont have school tomorow
we better damn well shouldnt
so
it's 7:30 and ive been up for....13.5 hours
i've been working..... 8 of those hours
I've been at church..... 9 of those hours
i could've went over to andrea's house but my mom wouldnt let me
im hoping we dont have school tomorow
we better damn well shouldnt
Saturday, December 15, 2007
beh....?
beh im bored of playing civilization 3 so I'm gonna post.
WELL, since my spelling was atrocious in the last blog post, I guess I'll try to improve upon my spelling for these next few posts (and maybe I'll even try complete sentences!).
FRIDAY:
1st hour: apparently I'm "An Insensitive Ass-hole" which according to Sahana, Allison, and Jessica is "a real shame because you're (I am) kind of hot." Allison: No, I'm not OK, I'm fucked up, some of us have to lie to ourselves just to not go on a self hate spree that they fucking triggered anyways. Thanks, girls, you're the best friends anyone could ever ask for.
2nd Hour: suicidal thoughts, depression, no talking, I forget what we did.
3rd Hour: More suicidal thoughts, very little talking, no contribution to class, confused Allison a few times, felt like running away. (Oh, I thought of if I ever feel like blowing my own brains out and i actualy have a gun to do it with, I'm going to do it in that class, just because... IDK why, just because.)
Lunch: Bought pizza,fries, spent 1/3 of the money i was supposed to spend on my brother's/sister's xmas present.
4th Hour: double notes, no time to talk, no time to be depressed.
5th Hour: Notes, notes, notes, and flying rubber bands.
6thHour: Finished painting the silver, only thing left to do is drip effect it.
Came home: Got bitched at until parents left, they stayed out, I stayed in and played Civ3
Today: got up at 9, found out what time party started, took shower, went to morgan's arcadia, played a bunch of video games and 2 rounds of laser tag (I now hold the highest score in the place with 4625 pts) came home, put lights up on tree, now I'm here, wondering if Andrea's gonna read this by tomorrow, cuz if she is... idk, she should call me if she does.
WELL, since my spelling was atrocious in the last blog post, I guess I'll try to improve upon my spelling for these next few posts (and maybe I'll even try complete sentences!).
FRIDAY:
1st hour: apparently I'm "An Insensitive Ass-hole" which according to Sahana, Allison, and Jessica is "a real shame because you're (I am) kind of hot." Allison: No, I'm not OK, I'm fucked up, some of us have to lie to ourselves just to not go on a self hate spree that they fucking triggered anyways. Thanks, girls, you're the best friends anyone could ever ask for.
2nd Hour: suicidal thoughts, depression, no talking, I forget what we did.
3rd Hour: More suicidal thoughts, very little talking, no contribution to class, confused Allison a few times, felt like running away. (Oh, I thought of if I ever feel like blowing my own brains out and i actualy have a gun to do it with, I'm going to do it in that class, just because... IDK why, just because.)
Lunch: Bought pizza,fries, spent 1/3 of the money i was supposed to spend on my brother's/sister's xmas present.
4th Hour: double notes, no time to talk, no time to be depressed.
5th Hour: Notes, notes, notes, and flying rubber bands.
6thHour: Finished painting the silver, only thing left to do is drip effect it.
Came home: Got bitched at until parents left, they stayed out, I stayed in and played Civ3
Today: got up at 9, found out what time party started, took shower, went to morgan's arcadia, played a bunch of video games and 2 rounds of laser tag (I now hold the highest score in the place with 4625 pts) came home, put lights up on tree, now I'm here, wondering if Andrea's gonna read this by tomorrow, cuz if she is... idk, she should call me if she does.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
my day
Dear santa,
By now, i'll bet you're sickand tired of all of the boys and girls in the world telling you just how good a kid they are. Well I say Fuck them! If they want to spend their xmas sitting underneath a christmas tree pretending to be happy, that's fine by me.
I on the otherhand wish to invite you to my smashing xmas party in dearborn. There will be mosh pit after moshbit and hooker after hooker at this place, Just bring a tickle me elmo because ELO'S GOT THE BITCH LINED UP.
There amy be some *Questionable content* at this party so we'd like you to sign the attached document releasing us of your blood -er releasing the restraining order -uhh... wasxhing your blood off of our hands.
Sincerely,
The Easter Bunny
lol, off the top of my head
1-6th hours:
beh
henrys house:
Still Buzzed :]
By now, i'll bet you're sickand tired of all of the boys and girls in the world telling you just how good a kid they are. Well I say Fuck them! If they want to spend their xmas sitting underneath a christmas tree pretending to be happy, that's fine by me.
I on the otherhand wish to invite you to my smashing xmas party in dearborn. There will be mosh pit after moshbit and hooker after hooker at this place, Just bring a tickle me elmo because ELO'S GOT THE BITCH LINED UP.
There amy be some *Questionable content* at this party so we'd like you to sign the attached document releasing us of your blood -er releasing the restraining order -uhh... wasxhing your blood off of our hands.
Sincerely,
The Easter Bunny
lol, off the top of my head
1-6th hours:
beh
henrys house:
Still Buzzed :]
Friday, December 7, 2007
Possibly one of the worst days of my life
wake up late, rush through morning ritual, get to school, figure out andrea's not there, ge sad cuz u were looking foreward to holding her today. Run an errand for the teacher, fail at it, get more right on the quiz than you would have if youd studied. find out u have a B+ in the class. get hw.
go to second hour, listen to presentations/do math hw form yesterday. do ur presentation on 2 minutes of planning and get an unknown grade for it. think about death.
go to third hour. get worried for allison, help her out, talk her in to happiness, "watch" to kill a mockingbird. pass notes, fool around, etc.
go to lunch, buy lunch, do nothing.
go to 4th hour, take notes, get frustrated when the idiot next to you asks you for every single answere and you're such an idiot you give them to her even though she's going to call you an idiot tomorow.
Go to 5th hour, have no clue what they're talking about, get 80% on the hw, take notes, get a shitload of hw.
go to 6th hour, cheat on test, do very lttle work on piece, end school day.
go to berger's house, chill, play on drums, play xbox live, enter whats his name, be awkward for 1/2 and hour, be cool, chill again.
go home (5:30) get into 2 fights w/mom in the 10 minute drive home, stop by andrea's house, no one home, sorry for wanting to look in on you and see if you were ok? come home, eat dinner, go to church, come home here i am.
weekend plans: tomorow: go buy tree, rearrange furniture, hw, anyone call me to hang out
sunday: 11 am mass, then the rest of the day is taken up with religious shit my mom's forcing me to go to.
go figure. this weekend will be shitty, last weekend was shitty, and the weekend before that was shitty, hmmm... im begining to notice a pattern, and my family wonders why i hate the holidays...
i havent seen andrea outside of school in the daytime in: 27 days
I havent hung out with anyone besides berger in: 27 days
go to second hour, listen to presentations/do math hw form yesterday. do ur presentation on 2 minutes of planning and get an unknown grade for it. think about death.
go to third hour. get worried for allison, help her out, talk her in to happiness, "watch" to kill a mockingbird. pass notes, fool around, etc.
go to lunch, buy lunch, do nothing.
go to 4th hour, take notes, get frustrated when the idiot next to you asks you for every single answere and you're such an idiot you give them to her even though she's going to call you an idiot tomorow.
Go to 5th hour, have no clue what they're talking about, get 80% on the hw, take notes, get a shitload of hw.
go to 6th hour, cheat on test, do very lttle work on piece, end school day.
go to berger's house, chill, play on drums, play xbox live, enter whats his name, be awkward for 1/2 and hour, be cool, chill again.
go home (5:30) get into 2 fights w/mom in the 10 minute drive home, stop by andrea's house, no one home, sorry for wanting to look in on you and see if you were ok? come home, eat dinner, go to church, come home here i am.
weekend plans: tomorow: go buy tree, rearrange furniture, hw, anyone call me to hang out
sunday: 11 am mass, then the rest of the day is taken up with religious shit my mom's forcing me to go to.
go figure. this weekend will be shitty, last weekend was shitty, and the weekend before that was shitty, hmmm... im begining to notice a pattern, and my family wonders why i hate the holidays...
i havent seen andrea outside of school in the daytime in: 27 days
I havent hung out with anyone besides berger in: 27 days
Thursday, December 6, 2007
Use it, take it with you
I definantly just got possibly the most hilarious talk from my dad
the "Use a rubber, take it with you" talk
god that was funny
i was like:
"uhh... I already knew that...."
dad: *looks at me suspiciously*
me: "Ima go eat now"
other than that, a pretty uneventful day,
1st: made a slightly disturbing script
2nd: did nothing rly, drug search busted someone whos locker is right next to our classroom in C hall
3rd: listened to speaches
4th: took notes
5th: went over hw, took notes
6th: continued painting!
got home, went on comp
the "Use a rubber, take it with you" talk
god that was funny
i was like:
"uhh... I already knew that...."
dad: *looks at me suspiciously*
me: "Ima go eat now"
other than that, a pretty uneventful day,
1st: made a slightly disturbing script
2nd: did nothing rly, drug search busted someone whos locker is right next to our classroom in C hall
3rd: listened to speaches
4th: took notes
5th: went over hw, took notes
6th: continued painting!
got home, went on comp
Monday, December 3, 2007
the weekend bleeds of misery and sleepless nights
wow, that was a rather poetic title...
ok so obv. i was feeling a bit suicidal friday, idk why. i got over it anyways.
friday night went to camp with the boyscouts, but not after completely rearanging the place where we keep all of our stuff. went to the camp, got there 30 mins early, moved cots/beds (had to fit 74 people in to a 65 person cabin). everyone else arrived, set up camp/cots. ended up getting a cot next to guy who snores loudest in out troop (bear). got like 3 hours of sleep due to constantly taling younger scouts, 3 people yelled at them but they still wouldnt shut up.
saturday (spent all day trying to keep the new kids under control) i got up at 7, went to breakfast, heater was broken, wore coats while eating, assembled catapuklt that consumed all of last week, got it mostly assembled. went to lunch, served lunch, ate last, heater still broken. Went back to finish up on catapult, catapult didnt fire forwards, it fired backwards, spent 2 hours fixing that problem, finally fixed it, it fires about 70 ft. catapult broke, spent an hour fixing that, finished. went in the cabin, took a 30 minute nap, went to mass at the broken heater building, served dinner, ate last, cleaned up the entire fucking place and organized the younger boys in the kitchen, kept having to supervize them cuz they kept cutting corners that couldnt be cut (i think its pretty simple to sweep dirt in to a dustpan, agreed?). took 2 hours to clean, its 900 now, watched click (adam sandler), walked back at 11:30 about 1 mile in the woods with snow on the ground going down steps without a flashlight (=spass!). got about 4 hours of sleep due to younger boy problems again, and three dads in our wing snoring in a trio.
sunday: got up at 7, packed up stuff, ate breakfast, put stuff in to cars, watched as others swept, the mopped the whole cabing by myself (no joke) while everyone else was outside having a snowball fight. by the time i was done and everything was organized, we only had 20 minutes until we left so i didnt partake in possibly the only snowball fight of the year. didnt talk at all on ride home, stared out window unfocused. got back to st.mikes, unloaded trailer, reorganized room (again) put everything away, mom drove by and then parked in the FUCKING FARTHEST PARKING SPOT AVAILABLE so it took 20 mins to find her, had her drive up so i could move my stuff in to her car, drove off. got home, andrea wasnt, she was at a movie, which i really wouldve liked to go to, but i wasnt home yet. spent all day half awake on the sofa thinking about how shitty the weekend was.
today:
1st hour: review game (woot! 10 extra credit points!)
2nd hour: spent whole time talking to gabby about how i havent done anything involving drugs in a while
3rd hour: phased out whole time, came up with a tee shirt idea, dropped little pieces of paper on allison's head whole time whenever kaiser lloked away (xD)
4th hour: HYPER!! spent time filling out a wksheet and jumping between groups, talking with josh about teri, let everyone copy my work and let josh copy my math hw
5th hour: finished with test 30 mins early, did 3rd hour hw and did 1/3 of late biology hw
6th hour: wait wait wait.... we actually did work in this class <:[ we have a test on the "7 and 7" the basic artistic techniques thursday and today was the first day he's introduced this to us. I was like "wtf?!?!?! i wanted to start painting today!"
thank you sooooo much nat, i dont know what moood id bee in today if you hadnt talked to me yesterday, btw, it wasnt random because i was thinking that the only reason my brother isnt getting yelled at constantly now like he was b4 is cuz my parents have given up on him.
and now ive been home for a while, hoping someone will call wanting to hang out since im now officially ungrounded
Heroes is on tonight!
ok so obv. i was feeling a bit suicidal friday, idk why. i got over it anyways.
friday night went to camp with the boyscouts, but not after completely rearanging the place where we keep all of our stuff. went to the camp, got there 30 mins early, moved cots/beds (had to fit 74 people in to a 65 person cabin). everyone else arrived, set up camp/cots. ended up getting a cot next to guy who snores loudest in out troop (bear). got like 3 hours of sleep due to constantly taling younger scouts, 3 people yelled at them but they still wouldnt shut up.
saturday (spent all day trying to keep the new kids under control) i got up at 7, went to breakfast, heater was broken, wore coats while eating, assembled catapuklt that consumed all of last week, got it mostly assembled. went to lunch, served lunch, ate last, heater still broken. Went back to finish up on catapult, catapult didnt fire forwards, it fired backwards, spent 2 hours fixing that problem, finally fixed it, it fires about 70 ft. catapult broke, spent an hour fixing that, finished. went in the cabin, took a 30 minute nap, went to mass at the broken heater building, served dinner, ate last, cleaned up the entire fucking place and organized the younger boys in the kitchen, kept having to supervize them cuz they kept cutting corners that couldnt be cut (i think its pretty simple to sweep dirt in to a dustpan, agreed?). took 2 hours to clean, its 900 now, watched click (adam sandler), walked back at 11:30 about 1 mile in the woods with snow on the ground going down steps without a flashlight (=spass!). got about 4 hours of sleep due to younger boy problems again, and three dads in our wing snoring in a trio.
sunday: got up at 7, packed up stuff, ate breakfast, put stuff in to cars, watched as others swept, the mopped the whole cabing by myself (no joke) while everyone else was outside having a snowball fight. by the time i was done and everything was organized, we only had 20 minutes until we left so i didnt partake in possibly the only snowball fight of the year. didnt talk at all on ride home, stared out window unfocused. got back to st.mikes, unloaded trailer, reorganized room (again) put everything away, mom drove by and then parked in the FUCKING FARTHEST PARKING SPOT AVAILABLE so it took 20 mins to find her, had her drive up so i could move my stuff in to her car, drove off. got home, andrea wasnt, she was at a movie, which i really wouldve liked to go to, but i wasnt home yet. spent all day half awake on the sofa thinking about how shitty the weekend was.
today:
1st hour: review game (woot! 10 extra credit points!)
2nd hour: spent whole time talking to gabby about how i havent done anything involving drugs in a while
3rd hour: phased out whole time, came up with a tee shirt idea, dropped little pieces of paper on allison's head whole time whenever kaiser lloked away (xD)
4th hour: HYPER!! spent time filling out a wksheet and jumping between groups, talking with josh about teri, let everyone copy my work and let josh copy my math hw
5th hour: finished with test 30 mins early, did 3rd hour hw and did 1/3 of late biology hw
6th hour: wait wait wait.... we actually did work in this class <:[ we have a test on the "7 and 7" the basic artistic techniques thursday and today was the first day he's introduced this to us. I was like "wtf?!?!?! i wanted to start painting today!"
thank you sooooo much nat, i dont know what moood id bee in today if you hadnt talked to me yesterday, btw, it wasnt random because i was thinking that the only reason my brother isnt getting yelled at constantly now like he was b4 is cuz my parents have given up on him.
and now ive been home for a while, hoping someone will call wanting to hang out since im now officially ungrounded
Heroes is on tonight!
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