i dont know...
i feel like i havent been myself lately, like ive been more of an asshole and i havent been making people as happy as normal. i feel... numb, like usual. but i dont feel like me. i cant even promise andrea i won't cut this weekend. I just... dropped in IQ or something cuz everything's confusing me now...
why do i care? idk why... why do i try? is it because im scared? scared of falling? scared of failing? scared of losing... my mind is a social phobia in it of itself.
CARL YOUR SUCH A FUCKING IDIOT DONT GO DOWN THAT PATH
repated in my head over and over.
do those words mean anything to me?
no
CARL DONT THREATEN TO KILL YOURSELF
heard in my head sounds likes "just do it allready"
CARL DONT CUT
"carl, we care about you, not that you'll ever believe that"
do i have more than one personality? probably.
they know of each other, they agree to certain things, but they are almost completely different.
the asshole me that gets me into this situation and the me that reacts when things come crashing down like usual.
the me that knows what to do, and the me that acts.
suicide isnt the answer,
but it's part of the equation
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why shouldnt i admit to reading this fucking thing?
lol
fancy colors. not what i would have expected from you. but still, i'm liking the changes.
i dont care if you have multiple personalities.
I love them all ;]
why cant you promise me? thats all i want to know.
i would rather have you lie to me just because it helps me to hear it, whether or not you mean it. At least i wouldnt spend every waking minute blaming myself and crying over you.
if you cant give me hope, at least give me some words to hold on to, regardless of them being complete bullshit.
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