i feel fat
and dumb
and bruised
and numb
and I'm sorry I can't make you feel better
How do you tell the one you love that you get random urges to just make a shotgun and paint the walls in your bedroom with blood?
I'm sorry, I shouldn't've said that.
I suppose I could erase it but I feel like this is what my life is becoming here, alone.
And when I call you your upset, you aren't in any state to console, so I do the work.
Maybe one of us can be happy
I think to myself while I listen to you cry
I know it sure as hell can't be me
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3 comments:
I'm sorry about everything, love. I know this hasn't been easy on you either, and I know I don't really help when I'm falling apart too.
I really appreciate you taking care of me. Maybe I don't show it enough, but I really do. You mean everything to me and I don't want to lose you.
But how come you don't ever tell me about how you're feeling? I ask you all the time how you are. I want you to tell me this stuff so we can work it out, so I can help you too. I don't want all of this stuff to fall on your shoulders all the time. I don't want you to hold it all in.
Maybe next time I come over we can take a walk and talk about everything, please? We could talk on the phone tonight too if you want, but I know we won't necessarily have a whole lot of time, and also I think it would be better if we were face to face.
But we can do whatever you like.
I'll call you later tonight okay?
I really really love you a lot
and I'm really sorry about earlier with the test. I know it's stupid and it's just one test, but I was just so sure that I knew how to do it and that test was nothing like I expected.
Can you forgive me? I love you a lot.
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