rollar coasters like shit i guess
i seem to be the only way on the way up...
nat's having troubles, tams kinda getting better with life, elise is going down, the girl that sits next to me in 6th hour just got dumped by her bf of 2 years, idk.. maybe i just feel obligated to help these people since so many people helped me out?
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
:]
last night i didnt do any homework, i went over to thoms house.
smashed toys using a fire poker, did flips on the trampoline, got lost on the way to a haunted house, scasred people in cars around us, arrived at haunted house, KICK ASS HAUNTED HOUSE next time more people should come, i love it. got home, went to bed.
today, got up etc etc school boring shit, got home, watched SP here i am.
im cold
but other then that im ok, i gotsa psychologists appointment in 3 hours
smashed toys using a fire poker, did flips on the trampoline, got lost on the way to a haunted house, scasred people in cars around us, arrived at haunted house, KICK ASS HAUNTED HOUSE next time more people should come, i love it. got home, went to bed.
today, got up etc etc school boring shit, got home, watched SP here i am.
im cold
but other then that im ok, i gotsa psychologists appointment in 3 hours
Sunday, October 28, 2007
lalalalala
yesterday:
woke up at 3 am to let andrea in, chilled, had some fun, she left.
woke up at noon, went on comp, took shower, went to see accross the universe.
went to andreas house afterwards, got molested and taken advantage of by being half naked, raped andrea, went home.
today:
woke up at 9, went to church, ate lunch, did chores until 2:45, went on comp and here i am now.
idk im still pretty buzzed from yesterday morning.
woke up at 3 am to let andrea in, chilled, had some fun, she left.
woke up at noon, went on comp, took shower, went to see accross the universe.
went to andreas house afterwards, got molested and taken advantage of by being half naked, raped andrea, went home.
today:
woke up at 9, went to church, ate lunch, did chores until 2:45, went on comp and here i am now.
idk im still pretty buzzed from yesterday morning.
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Oh GOD
i cant remember the last time i was this happy,
andrea snuck over and we actually got away with it which i wasnt expecting.
I had the time of my life love, and i know you want to watch the movie, i actually wasnt expecting to do anything at the movie cuz i mean... too many people there.
i love you sooo much.
and im soo happy my mom is away for the day cuz that means i can go to the movie and she cant yell at me or anything.
i just woke up 20 minutes ago :]
GOD i dont even know how to express how happy and in love i am with you, and its not just cuz of the things we did, alll through it u were making my smile (cuz i couldnt laugh cuz that would wake people up).
GOD now i need to find happy song lyric to put at the end of this...
A thousand miles seems pretty far
But they've got planes and trains and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way
Our friends would all make fun of us
and we'll just laugh along because we know
That none of them have felt this way
andrea snuck over and we actually got away with it which i wasnt expecting.
I had the time of my life love, and i know you want to watch the movie, i actually wasnt expecting to do anything at the movie cuz i mean... too many people there.
i love you sooo much.
and im soo happy my mom is away for the day cuz that means i can go to the movie and she cant yell at me or anything.
i just woke up 20 minutes ago :]
GOD i dont even know how to express how happy and in love i am with you, and its not just cuz of the things we did, alll through it u were making my smile (cuz i couldnt laugh cuz that would wake people up).
GOD now i need to find happy song lyric to put at the end of this...
A thousand miles seems pretty far
But they've got planes and trains and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way
Our friends would all make fun of us
and we'll just laugh along because we know
That none of them have felt this way
Thursday, October 25, 2007
wow, im dead tired but kinda... satisfied? happy?
ok so heres the things that have happened since last post or things that id forgotten to post.
I finished my totem pole :]
Katie C has been kinda talking to me the same way she did before we went out?... :-|
test in WH tomorow, and German
We had a test in Bio today, went fast, easy, slept for the last half of the hour
andrea was going to sneak out and come over last night, never happened, oh well
andrea and I had this long talk, i was scared stiff about it, but we's all good now (i think?)
we had a sub in 3rd hour today, who didnt rly do anything but it was fun.
im starting to speak up more in my 6th hour, just to see whts gonna happen.
I REALLY WANT AN iPod Video!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(yeah, right)
idk when im going to bed tonight.... prbbly around 8:30 so i can actually sleep...
lifting weights has been ok.
it's really easy to fireman carry andrea now.
its also easy to curl my totem pole.
my moms gonna hem my robes in a minute, cuz im still not sure if im gonna actually be going ToTing this year... andrea, when u read this ur gonna nead to actually inform me of what we're doing halloween.
i g2g now, bbl
I finished my totem pole :]
Katie C has been kinda talking to me the same way she did before we went out?... :-|
test in WH tomorow, and German
We had a test in Bio today, went fast, easy, slept for the last half of the hour
andrea was going to sneak out and come over last night, never happened, oh well
andrea and I had this long talk, i was scared stiff about it, but we's all good now (i think?)
we had a sub in 3rd hour today, who didnt rly do anything but it was fun.
im starting to speak up more in my 6th hour, just to see whts gonna happen.
I REALLY WANT AN iPod Video!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(yeah, right)
idk when im going to bed tonight.... prbbly around 8:30 so i can actually sleep...
lifting weights has been ok.
it's really easy to fireman carry andrea now.
its also easy to curl my totem pole.
my moms gonna hem my robes in a minute, cuz im still not sure if im gonna actually be going ToTing this year... andrea, when u read this ur gonna nead to actually inform me of what we're doing halloween.
i g2g now, bbl
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
quicky
ok, so im about to go eat my snack so whatev this is gonna be fast...
life SUX for me right now
my hands hurt, my mind hurts, my abs hurts, the back of my thighs hurt, i want my arms to hurt to even it all out...
my grandpa survived his surgery and is currently being moced in to his bed, he could be out of the hospital as early as next sunday.
thoms party is friday.. i got tom a present no duh, but i also got something else... ;]
i still hate my fucking mom to guts.
the new a7x album leaked, but i cant find anything
dumbledore's gay
harry dies
dumbledore dies
why is my life filled with lies?
im thinkiong about going on one of the school computers to see if my stories from late last year are still in my data.
cuz they were some fucking sweet stories
my mind isnt concentrating, thank you monster
i wish andrea were here right now i would like to talk to her.
not anything bad, dont worry babe :p
"I will let you down, I will make you hurt"
life SUX for me right now
my hands hurt, my mind hurts, my abs hurts, the back of my thighs hurt, i want my arms to hurt to even it all out...
my grandpa survived his surgery and is currently being moced in to his bed, he could be out of the hospital as early as next sunday.
thoms party is friday.. i got tom a present no duh, but i also got something else... ;]
i still hate my fucking mom to guts.
the new a7x album leaked, but i cant find anything
dumbledore's gay
harry dies
dumbledore dies
why is my life filled with lies?
im thinkiong about going on one of the school computers to see if my stories from late last year are still in my data.
cuz they were some fucking sweet stories
my mind isnt concentrating, thank you monster
i wish andrea were here right now i would like to talk to her.
not anything bad, dont worry babe :p
"I will let you down, I will make you hurt"
Monday, October 22, 2007
you can have it all, my empire of dirt
god... im so fucked up lately.
"seriously, you look like youre about to go home and kill yourself everyday"
ive had to fight tears/cutting so many times this weeks its not even funny
i think i love school. i love it because while my mind is being swept away in to the abyss of no return that teachers like to call homework, my mind cant focus on the things that are fucking me up.
my dad threw out his back at my football game last thursday so he was a hassle until he left 2 hours ago to go to kalamazoo because my grandpa is having major back surgery there... where my grandpa has a 50/50 chance of living.
my mom has been a bitch like allways. sunday, the first day i got to sleep in in the past two weeks, i was woken up by her pounding on my door, storming in and her yelling at me to get dressed and do yardwork.
i did a 5 person job that woiuld take the whole after noon in about 3 hours.
then i worked out.
then i went to boyscouts,
then i went with andrea to this haunted hayride thing that didnt rly work out
ive been TRYING SO FUCKING HARD to write.
but nothings realy is coming, my mind cant focus, its almost as if i dont want to focus, idk, maybe i think that if i focus to much, ill end up cutting again, cuz right now, nothing in my life is 100% enjoyment. but hey, i guess no pain no gain?
lately ive been feeling as if im strecthing myself too far, ive been trying to give atleast 80% at everything and its starting to show, im stressed, i dont sleep, ive given up talking to my family, but the worst thing is, i feel that ive been giving everything, and recieving practically nothing back, its like feeding a fire, yoiu can throw in your most valuable possesions and no matter what, you only get smoke back.
my hands are raw from lifting weights.
i can jump like the shit now.
but not that it really matter because im never gonna get the ball ever again.
andreas thinking that she tries to hard... but im not really feeling that shes trying at all...
wow, ive been writing for 1/2 an hour
ive taken vikodin twice in the past 2 weeks and i still am not sure what it does for me, i still felt it when my nail was crushed, whatev
the girl who stated the previously stated quote offered to give me a blunt but i didnt fully hear her so i was like "eh, maybe"
my brother used my mom and dads credit cards, stole even more money form them.
my sister is stressed because shes got this huge physics project due, and my mom is pressuring her about college applications.
and here i am, sitting here with stress from football, working out, school, andrea, tam and harp, trying to do my best, boyscouts, transportation, etc. i hardly have any time for my fucking self anymore, and that time, is spent lying awake at night waiting for either the tears or the dreamless sleep.
"back when i was younger, i was someone you'd've liked"
"seriously, you look like youre about to go home and kill yourself everyday"
ive had to fight tears/cutting so many times this weeks its not even funny
i think i love school. i love it because while my mind is being swept away in to the abyss of no return that teachers like to call homework, my mind cant focus on the things that are fucking me up.
my dad threw out his back at my football game last thursday so he was a hassle until he left 2 hours ago to go to kalamazoo because my grandpa is having major back surgery there... where my grandpa has a 50/50 chance of living.
my mom has been a bitch like allways. sunday, the first day i got to sleep in in the past two weeks, i was woken up by her pounding on my door, storming in and her yelling at me to get dressed and do yardwork.
i did a 5 person job that woiuld take the whole after noon in about 3 hours.
then i worked out.
then i went to boyscouts,
then i went with andrea to this haunted hayride thing that didnt rly work out
ive been TRYING SO FUCKING HARD to write.
but nothings realy is coming, my mind cant focus, its almost as if i dont want to focus, idk, maybe i think that if i focus to much, ill end up cutting again, cuz right now, nothing in my life is 100% enjoyment. but hey, i guess no pain no gain?
lately ive been feeling as if im strecthing myself too far, ive been trying to give atleast 80% at everything and its starting to show, im stressed, i dont sleep, ive given up talking to my family, but the worst thing is, i feel that ive been giving everything, and recieving practically nothing back, its like feeding a fire, yoiu can throw in your most valuable possesions and no matter what, you only get smoke back.
my hands are raw from lifting weights.
i can jump like the shit now.
but not that it really matter because im never gonna get the ball ever again.
andreas thinking that she tries to hard... but im not really feeling that shes trying at all...
wow, ive been writing for 1/2 an hour
ive taken vikodin twice in the past 2 weeks and i still am not sure what it does for me, i still felt it when my nail was crushed, whatev
the girl who stated the previously stated quote offered to give me a blunt but i didnt fully hear her so i was like "eh, maybe"
my brother used my mom and dads credit cards, stole even more money form them.
my sister is stressed because shes got this huge physics project due, and my mom is pressuring her about college applications.
and here i am, sitting here with stress from football, working out, school, andrea, tam and harp, trying to do my best, boyscouts, transportation, etc. i hardly have any time for my fucking self anymore, and that time, is spent lying awake at night waiting for either the tears or the dreamless sleep.
"back when i was younger, i was someone you'd've liked"
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